Breast problems

Had infection that time. was shivering and had fever. couldn't see doc cos andy's relatives from muar were here for 2 days. I couldn't take the engorgement and attempted to get help from breastfeeding support group, joyful parenting help and other lactaction consultants. no help was available as it was a Sunday. I beared with the pain and continued expressing my milk every 3 hrly interval. wanted to give up breastfeeding then.

my sis smsed cheryl who then contacted yen ping. yen ping called me on tues and i went down to see her. sharon, a lactation nurse and yen ping, then helped me to massage and taught me how to use the pump. my breasts was still very badly blocked. They cleared most of the lumps but it was really a tortorous experience. i cried during the process. told yen ping that i wanted to give up. she encouraged me and taught me how to boost my milk supply. bought fenugreek and went home to pump. hubby is really a source of support. he supported me in whatever i do. bought nipple shield, breast pump, breast pads, nipple cream, milk bags and fenugreek just to support me in my breastfeeding career.

Was rather scared when my breasts were hard the next morning and couldn't pump out much. Had a phobia and told andy that I din wanna breastfeed anymore. but felt very guilty towards my baby (I couldn't give her the best), my husband (who spent so much money on breastfeeding equipment and time and effort in driving me down to see lactation consultant), my sis, cheryl and yen ping as they had given me lot of help and encouragement. Really appreciate them but it was me, the useless mummy, who gave up in the end. :(

Cried again on and off whenever I think abt breastfeeding. Knew I would regret my decision but really couldn't take the physical and mental torture. Tried to compensate by spending more time bonding with my children (could now carry her when she cries and attend to my son when he's back) and also tried to take over more burden from my hubby who's very tired with supporting me and taking care of both children while I was breastfeeding the other time.

This will always be my regret that I did not persevere enough in breastfeeding. Hope my dear children would not blame me for not giving them the best in the future even though I love them dearly.

1st few days home

Could return home on 2nd November. Settled down after a while before baby cried and I latched her on. However, breasts started to harden and was rather painful. latched on and pumped out. yield was v. little. around 20 ml.

Kayden came home when I was expressing milk. He thought I locked him out and he banged the door and shouted for me. Could hear his fear. I quickly opened the door and let him in. Couldn't spend much time with him cos veyr busy with expressing milk. Felt so upset. He was excited to see his mei mei. sayang her and then sat beside the playpen looking at her even though we told him it was time to sleep. he finally agreed to lie down after we switched off the lights.

Was very engorged the next day when I woke up. Quickly called the lactation consultant hotline and left a message for yen ping. guess she was v. busy. in the end, huiling, a lactation nurse called and she said the only appt she has left is 1.15pm. i rushed to have my lunch and went down. She taught me how to massage and pumped and told me to put cabbage leaves in my bra all the time unless it's for expressing. She also mentioned that I had cracked nipples and possible infection as I have red spots on my chest. The whole process was excruciatingly painful. I held on tightly to the table while Huiling helped me to massage. cried very badly during the process. after the appt, paid and went to the pharmacy to get denzen to reduce the swelling. the person at the counter took his own sweet time and i was in so much pain that i teared. another pharmacist saw and assisted me in getting the medication. called my younger sis and in the end, she took time off and sent me home. was very thankful to her.

Stay at KKH Hotel

After delivery, i latched Yi En on and she suckled for a long time. Later, food was sent in but I was very afraid of vomiting due to epidural so I din dare to eat. Andy fed me some rice and the black bean soup so that I can get some nourishment. Vomited a little after that. Was very weak and sleepy when they sent back to the ward. The room is very different from the one that we gave birth. It really resembles a hotel room. Will upload photos soon.

Dr. Irene Chua said that I could be discharged the next day. I decided to stay an extra day as I wanted more time to rest. During the stay, I learnt to latch Yi En. However, I also missed Kayden very much. cried a couple of times when I missed him. Called him n talked to him. He came to visit me on both days n he was excited to meet his sister. Could sense that he was a bit insecure. Cried rather badly when he left. Never felt so miserable in my life.

Delivery

After Andy said that we are heading down to kkh, i quickly bathed and washed hair and brought my boy to my parents' place. was rather sad when i said bye to kayden. He looked so confused.

Picked up my sis and we reached kkh at 8plus. my sis and andy went with me to the delivery suite. did admission procedures and was sent to delivery room 5. My mid wife is Joyce Heng and she settled me before gynae came.

Dr. Irene Chua came and did ve and said 5cm dilated. midwife asked me whether I wanted epidural this round and i said i wanted to try going without epi this time. Dr. bursted my water bag. could not tahan the pain after some time. Told another midwife Patricia about the need for epidural. The anesthestist came and administered the epidural. could feel electric currents running down my right leg as it jerked. after epi, i was so much happier. there were some itchiness and i try to tahan.

midwife patricia came to help me pass out my urine. gosh, din realise that i had been holding my urine for a long time. passed out a lot. the midwife said it should be soon cos after clearing, baby will have space to move down the birth canal. true enough, i felt the pain even though i used epidural. told her that i can feel the pain and she checked and said i'm ready to push. pushed 2 or 3 times and then said to hold on. gynae's coming. pushed another 1 or 2 and my darling Yi En was out at 11.01am.

She cried really hard and she was red. very different from her bro who was looking around the room curiously and quietly. latched my gal on after they cleaned her up. her weight was 2.59kg, her length was 47cm and head circumference was 30cm. We were then sent to Ward 81 Room 23.

Pregnancy updates (long overdue :)

It has been a long time since I updated this blog especially about my pregnancy. Have been very tired in the 3rd trimester. Yi En's weight was 1.7kg as at wk 32 which was a bit of a concern as that is considered small. Was advised to eat more protein food to help her gain weight. her weight was 2.2kg as at wk 35 and gynae said it's better.

went down to gynae on 29 Nov. She's now 2.7kg. told gynae about the brown discharge i had a couple of days ago and the braxton hicks. she did VE and said that I'm 3 cm dilated and baby's head is very low. she can almost touch it. Was asked if I wanted to choose a date and give birth or let it happen naturally. I said let it be natural but that night, I had cramps and it got even worse eventually. Tried to tahan till 6am. andy kept waking up to check on me. told him i'm not sure if it's braxton hicks or contractions. anyway, andy said to just go down to kkh and check it out.

More of my delivery updates in the next post.

Knowing the gender of #2 and the naming process

It was rather difficult to identify the gender cos she is always not in the correct posture. There were a couple of times when the gynae scanned her from her backside and predicted that it might be a 'her'. True enough, we confirmed her gender around the 6th month. Actually, I started shopping for her clothes since the 4th month after the gynae predicted that it might be a girl. keke...

I thought of a couple of names which I tried to link to Kai En. Decided to continue with the word 'En' cos I am thankful to God for blessing me with a princess. Came up with 'Hui En' (Hua Hui as in pretty and En as in gratitude). Andy said it was rather common so I thought of another 'Yi En' (Yi Tai as in graceful). Could not confirm the date. Andy then thought of 'Liting' but I din want. In the end, we let Kayden decide. I asked him quite a couple of times and he said 'Yi En'. Andy finally agreed to it but wanted the 'Yi' to be 'Xin Kwang Shen Yi' 's Yi which means happy. #2's name is finally settled. Yeah!!!

Conceiving #2

I have been trying on and off for another baby since Kayden turns 3. However, it was not as easy as I thought so. Had chronic cough and have taken antibiotics. during these months, there was no chance of me trying as I was worried that the medicine would have an impact on the baby.

Finally, around Mar, I discovered that I was pregnant. Yippee! Then another worry came along. My thyroid condition is unstable again. Went for blood test and see Dr. Eng again. Confirmed have to take thyroxine again. Luckily, things stabilised after the 5th month even though I still have to take the medicine. Baby grows well even though I had bad morning sickness, spotting, etc for this pregnancy. Lost 3kg during the 1st 5 months. Threw up everything from 5th to 22nd weeks this round. Yucks! This will be my last pregnancy. can't imagine going through another round again.

Mummy, you're wrong!

Recently, Kayden has been trying to teach me stuff. think it's due to me pretending that I do not know what he's talking and he's getting frustrated with his 'foolish' mum. haha...

#1
Kayden (holds on to a flashcard): Mummy, what's this?
Mummy: Apple
Kayden: No, you are wrong. This is an orange. I teach you.
He then chooses the flashcard of apple and shows it to me.
Kayden: This is apple.

#2
Kayden is working on his book on shapes. The question requires him to complete a shape pattern.
Mummy: Shape with 5 sides, circle, Shape with 5 sides, circle, what comes next?
Kayden: Mummy, no.... It's pentagon.
Mummy: oh ok. i'm sorry.

#3
Kayden came back from school.
Mummy: What did Lao Shi teach you today?
Kayden: Wan gou.
Mummy: Oh I see. Is it written like this? (Proceed to write but the 'wan' din look curvy enough)
Kayden: Mummy, no! That's shu gou. I teach you. (He then show me how to write it correctly.

He's learning fast but not too patient with others. Heard from his teacher that he's also behaves like that in school at times. When he sees his friends having problems fixing the puzzles, he'll tell them 'I teach you' and then completes the puzzle for them. Have to teach him to be more patient.

Learning Journey to Sentosa

Some pics of Kayden going to Sentosa for his learning journey.


On the way to Sentosa


Lining up with his peers.
Kwang Gee, Kayden and Yan Yi (Left to Right)




Kayden trying to touch the fish


Kayden exploring the machine for more information.




kayden with his classmates.


Kayden sitting on the conveyor belt with Aaron.

3 yrs old development

It has been a hectic year. Din update for almost half a year. Kayden has grew and developed a lot. He is able to read simple storybooks by himself and the instructions of the assessment books that his Kiasu mummy has purchased. He is the choosy type. refused to do the mechanical writing (penmenship) and only choosing those that he need to answer such as matching, finding the difference or shape patterns. The teachers at the childcare also said that he's doing very well in terms of academic especially for Maths. Chinese is improving but still need some reinforcement. The area of concern is his social and emotional learning. Although he is not so shy now, he still needs to learn how to interact and socialise with his peers. Also need to teach him self-help skills such as buttoning his shirt, packing his bag and things, etc.

His height at 44 months is 98cm and his weight is 15kg. Need to fatten him up. haha...