1st Day In Childcare

Felt that Kayden doesn't really know how to socialise with others and hence have decided to enrol him in a playgroup for him to socialise with others. I'm so worried cos he was friendly to others when he was younger but he seemed to be rather anti-social nowsadays. he refused to talk to strangers or even smile to them which is so unusual compared to the past.

As a result, I sent Kayden to playgroup this morning. He is now a pupil of ABC Children's Place which is just behind my parents' block. It was the only one which my parents agreed to despite me taking the effort to call a number of centres and visiting a couple of them prior to that. reason is that it is convenient for them. Sometimes, I really wished that I could be a SAHM so that I don't have to trouble them and yet be able to send Kayden to a more reputable school.


Kayden's in his sleepy mode. woke him up to change him into his uniform.


Anyway, this is really a stressful experience for Kayden as well as for me. We went there around 8.30am. He was still alright until his daddy decided to leave for work. Cried and clung onto Andy. I took over and brought him around to see the room. From there, we moved over to the assembly area where I think a Chinese prayer was being chanted. Kayden thought it was music and danced and clapped his hands. He was laughing. The rest of the children were serious and then, they proceeded to have their breakfast.

I took Kayden to have breakfast with the toddlers 2 class. He had cornflakes and full cream milk. He fed himself with the spoon with me holding onto the bowl so that he won't spill the food. he din eat much. guess it wasn't to his liking and perhaps he was still full as he had taken some milk prior to that at home.

The teacher-in-charge, Teacher Firlys, was not in yet as she was only working from 10am to 7pm. Hence, Kayden and his classmate, Arron, were with Teacher Jenny. They sat at the toys section playing with the toys. They played side by side and were alright with each other's company. Kayden would occasionally pass some toys to Arron and vice versa.




Kayden with Arron, playing with the toys.
Soon, teacher Firlys arrived. She sang a welcome song and wanted to do High-Five with Kayden but Kayden did not respond. She then moved onto numbers like 1, 2 and 3 as well as food which Kayden knew. Kayden started roaming around the room and exploring the place. Teacher Firlys managed to get him to sit down and they then moved onto animals. She brought out a box of toy animals. Kayden was very excited and started to take the toys out. Seeing that he was rather alright and was concentrated in the lesson, I slowly removed myself from the class and moved to another corner where I observed him playing. He was very focused and din seem to remember where he was. However, there was a point where he suddenly remembered that I was not there. He cried for me which the teacher tried to hug him and to console him. He refused to be consoled. I then came over and carried him.

After this, on and off during the lesson, Kayden started crying and saying 'pa pa' ('Scared' in mandarin). Soon after, it was lunch. Kayden sat on a chair and i fed him rice with soup, with some beans, beancurd and vegetarian meat. He finished the whole bowl. As he saw teacher Firlys holding onto a container of apples, he moved his chair beside her and asked for apple. Teacher Firlys gave him one and he grinned. He moved over beside me and started to eat his apple. He was very cheerful then and even wanted to play peek-a-boo with Arron. After eating, Kayden started roaming around again. He even moved to the wooden door and started doing flying kiss, thinking that he would be going home. When he realised that he wasn't going home, he tried to climb the door but to no avail. It was really upsetting for me when he gave up and sat down dejectedly near the door. I was trying to hold back my tears, thinking why did I wanna make my boy suffer at such a young age. Did I make a wrong decision? I felt so guilty for causing my boy to go through such a traumatic day in his young life.

We were supposed to leave at 1pm but we left earlier as he was really very cranky. I was very upset and cried for causing him to have such a stressful day. My parents bathed him and I fed him milk afterwards. He was so tired that he slept halfway while drinking. It was so depressing to see him so sad and tired as he had to adjust to a new environment. Although I understand that separation anxiety is a passing phase that happens irregardless of age, I really could not stand the thought of him crying and feeling depressed for the next couple of weeks.

I really dread to bring Kayden to school tomorrow. Would it be the same or better? I really pray that I would have the strength to withstand his crying and that Kayden would be able to adjust soon to preschool life. God, please grant me my prayer!