Beliefs

Went for a class management class yesterday. The tutor was a retired school principal and is currently lecturing in NIE. Instead of teaching us strategies to manage the difficult students, his class was more of finding out the child's beliefs in why he's behaving in a particular manner and to change their beliefs. He shared many stories of pupils during his career as a principal and how things could be done without punishment. It was really enlightening but difficult to do if you have a class of 30 or more pupils and very limited time.

Actually, what he said is also relevant to how we can bring up our children. Children tend to behave in a certain manner to meet their needs. It is very important in how we shape our children's belief system. he brought up a case whereby the child did very well in his preschool and primary school but her results and behaviour changed drastically during secondary school. It was because when she was young, her belief was that if she behaves well and does well in school, daddy and mummy will love her and reward her. However, this is no longer important to her when she goes to secondary school whereby friends are more important than parents. We have to teach them the right values as in how it is important to try their best rather than making it love a condition. It doesn't matter if they did not get marks that meet our expectations but we will still love them.

It is also important that we do not shape our child according to our value system as it might not be what the child wants. Although a lot of us says that we want the child to learn this or to do this for their seek, it seems like we are pushing our value systems to them. They might not like it and hence become defiant and fight for power when they are older.

A very chim topic that requires a lot of thinking. Parenting is really a learning process. Hopefully, we will not make too many mistakes in our child's life.